ANYWAY.
This is what my life has become with this Moby Wrap. A next to impossible challenge. I feel like I am studying to become a brain surgeon or training for a triathlon. Except, that would actually be EASY compared to this. I feel like a total moron and completely defeated by this ginormous piece of cotton stretch origami. I swear, this thing requires 10 people just to get it on. Not to mention the additional 10 to cram the baby inside.
It's funny because I see so many of my friends and people I don't even know who love theirs and think it's so easy to use. Am I just that stupid or something? I'm getting the feeling that I must be. I mean, how hard can this actually be?
Now before I continue on my rant, I'd like to point out that I am actually very thankful for this gift from my friend Bethany (who by the way is adorable when she's wearing it). She's obviously WAY smarter than I am, and is the master at baby wearing. She's also one of the greatest mother's I've ever seen. So yea. I, on the other hand, completely fail.
So, if you have never used or seen the Moby (other than in the beautiful and obviously fake photographs), you are in for a treat. It comes packaged up in this tiny little sack rolled up perfectly with a photo of the happiest mom and baby you've ever encountered in your life. "Award Winning Wrap--Parent's Choice," etc, etc... Sounds fantastic.
Honestly, I opened up the tiny package thinking that this thing was already going to be put together for me. I mean, on the package it looks like a big stretchy t-shirt that the baby just slides right into. Easy enough. I can just toss her inside in a jiff, and happily go about my business. Perfect!
WRONG! Let's just say looks are deceiving.
You open up the package and out comes this 10-12 ft long GIGANTIC piece of fabric. I felt like a damn magician pulling the never ending multi-colored scarf out of my sleeve. I mean seriously. I could have used this contraption as an aisle runner at my wedding. I think my first thought was, really? What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing? Even my dog looks confused. See:
And here:
All she needs is a veil.
Luckily for me, there is a fabulously thick book of beautifully photographed step by step [supposedly idiot proof] instructions. Well it seems simple enough just looking at the pictures. Here's proof.
Well HA frickin HA!
Here's the biggest laugh of them all. Simple as 1, 2, 3 my ass!
I am telling you that even step one makes absolutely ZERO sense. Actually, no I take that back. The words make sense, but the photos? Not so much. Tell me, whose belly buttons are located practically in their chest? I know that pregnancy does some strange things to your navel area, but it certainly didn't do THAT to mine. The reason I say this is because they tell you to align the Moby tag with your navel, but the picture shows the women with the tag directly beneath their chest. Am I missing something here?
No joke, the first time I attempted this project, my husband and I took a good 10 minutes just to get this beast on me the "correct" way. OH! And did I mention that the pictures in the manual show the wrap perfectly creased, folded, etc? Then you look at mine. I look like I've been attacked by the fabric. After 10 tries by myself, I finally got the wrap to look almost as good as the photo. THEN I tried to put the baby inside. ha! At first, I thought that it was because Noelle was too small. But now that she's over 10 lbs, I know that it must be me. No matter what I do, I just can't do it right. She's hanging halfway out, or I am literally ramming body parts into tiny crevices...hThen she cries [ehem... WAILS] because her mom is such an idiot, and the 20+ minutes that I've spent trying to get this damn thing to work for us have been wasted. Ugh. I know I can't be that stupid. I guess I have to be smarter than the wrap. Perhaps we'll try this exhilarating event again one day while she's sleeping and can be stuffed into the material with a little less effort.
Until then...In this case of Mommy vs Moby-- Moby wins.
1 comment:
OMG goodbye Jenny McCarthy, the next BIG THING has just come to humorous pregnancy and baby writing. You seriously should consider authoring a book, if nothing more than to be able to stay home full time with your adorable daughter and to try to tackle that damn moby wrap while she's asleep! hahaha
okay, so the instructions did make pretty good sense to me, so I can't empathize there :( however I've learned that you have to make the thing REALLY tight on you, then try to squeeze the bambino into it. Squeezing into it can take an extra set of hands, but will make you and baby most comfortable.
Have no fear, if it takes you 6 months to get it "right" it's no problem since babies LOVE to be in the wrap until well past a year old. In fact, I think I've been inspired by this post to put B in hers tomorrow! Maybe I can actually squeeze in a walk tomorrow which I haven't managed all week (it's been a rough one.........).
I love you girl! Today I was like, I need her cell number so that I can text her as needed. I wanted to text you a pic of the headbands I found. I'm SO glad we've found one another and that we have one another to raise our children with the encouragement of a friend who at least attempts to understand. Plus you absolutely crack me up! And you remind me of the way I was when I had my first! You are an INCREDIBLE mommy and a good friend too, even if you can't figure out the gift I sent haha
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