Reviews of Go the Eff to Sleep

So one of my best girlfriend's picked up this adult children's book for me called:

Perhaps some of you have heard of this book? Maybe even have read or own this book? Well, if you are a total prude or dislike cursing, you probably won't find any humor in this book whatsoever. Otherwise, it is pretty humorous. The funniest book ever read? No. But it does the job. So unless you have perfect children (I mean REALLY perfect), it's worth a read for a good laugh. 


So, for the hell of it, I decided to go on Amazon to read some of the reviews for this book. I am a review reading freak in general, so even though I didn't need the reviews to help me make a decision about purchasing this book, it was interesting to see what others were saying. Knowing the content of this book made it that much more enjoyable. To really spice things up, I went straight to the 1 star reviews. I just knew I would find some controversial and/or ridiculous reviews on there, and boy was I right. I seriously laughed so hard at the insanity of these reviews that I just had to steal them to share with you all tonight. Even if you've never read the book, you will get the gist of it based on the reviews. Once you are done reading these, I want to know what you think. Are these people for real, or did they write these to make fun of the people who really read this to their children? 


**I was literally crying from laughter when I read this...

1.0 out of 5 stars It made my four year old cry!!!, June 15, 2011

By 

A Reader From NYC (New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Go the F**k to Sleep (Hardcover)

This is the worst goodnight book I've ever read. It made my four year old cry every single night I read it to him. And then just the other night when it was time to put his baby brother down, he said, "Why won't he go the f*** to sleep?" What sort of lesson is that?

I don't normally give one star reviews. I would have given this a two star review if the authors had used a better word like "fudge" or "flock", as in "Go the Flock to Sleep", but now, thanks to this horrible book, my four year old is using the f-word every day and my baby son just said "flluch", so his first word was the f-word. Am I supposed to tell him this when he gets older? "Son, your first word was the f-word"? What's he going to grow up to be now? A tattoo parlor artist? A Democrat? This book is a disgrace.

**I think this one below is the SAME reviewer. Hilarious. 

1.0 out of 5 stars KEEP AWAY FROM YOUR CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS!, October 5, 2011

By 

Bradley (New York, NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Go the F**k to Sleep (Hardcover)

I stumbled across this book on Amazon and thought it looked cute, so I bought it to read for my four-year-old at bedtime. I was looking forward to receiving it, but when I opened up the package, I was horrified to see a sleeping child surrounded by tigers. Children should not sleep in the presence of tigers. Tigers are dangerous! Had I noticed the tigers on the cover from the start, I never would have purchased the book. I thought they were just really big cats from some magical land like Oz or The Magical Land of the Really Big Cats.

I should have thrown the book straight in the trash after seeing the cover, but I'm not exactly made of money so I taped a page from a newspaper to hide the cover from Max and read it to him later that night. I started reading it and it was really great, but then I got to the last sentence on the first page and was horrified! I've never read such filthy language in a children's book. I wanted to stop reading. I NEEDED to stop reading. But Max is the pushiest four year old I've ever met so he wouldn't let me stop reading.

I read more and more of the book and felt intense nausea, but I had to continued because Max would have would have squirmed away and told me that he hated me if I stopped reading before the end. The publisher of this book should be ashamed of themselves for publishing such filth. Not a page went by without one usage of the f-word. And there was even one page with the word for excrement!

Page after page. A few of them even had children playing with tigers like on the cover! I'm mortified that Max will leave the house and spend the night sleeping in the zoo surrounded by deadly predators rather than sleep in his room surrounded by his 27 teddy bears. And then there's that page with the child falling through the air attached to a parachute. Oh my Lord! I don't know what's more dangerous: a child spending time with tigers or jumping out of a plane to go skydiving.

This horrible book is only 18 pages, but it felt like an eternity while I was reading it. I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack before I finished reading its last obscene sentence.

And then I saw the final page with the biographical data of the evil evil men who wrote and illustrated the book. I didn't read it aloud to Max because it always angers him whenever I accidentally read a page like this. But I was shocked...absolutely shocked to learn that not only did the author have a filthy mouth and advocate putting small children in dangerous situations, but he is also an anti-Semite. Even worse than an anti-Semite. He is a proponent for the extinction of all Jews. I will never, ever read his book, The End of the Jews, especially to Max. At that moment, I felt like I had just read a children's book written by Adolf Hitler.

Shame on you, Amazon! Shame on you for your false advertising. You are to blame for not listing the book's actual title. How was I supposed to know what the book was actually called when you censored the title's filthy word? I never thought anyone would use THAT word in a children's book title. I thought it was a Sumerian word or something. I thought the book would be educational. Teach Max a few words from an ancient language before he went to sleep. But no--instead he's been talking like a hummus and salsa factory worker ever since I made possibly the biggest mistake of my life.

OMG LMAO!

So... thoughts? If nothing else, I hope you had a good laugh. Oh, and read the book if you haven't. It will make the previous reviews that much funnier.