Mommy vs. Moby Round 29798718

Lately I feel like my life with the Moby Wrap is like an episode of Man vs. Food. Ever see that show? If not, it's where this guy [Adam Richman] goes around to different restaurants across the nation to participate in their ridiculous food challenges. For example, eating a life size steak in 20 minutes. AND he can actually do this! Slightly disturbing, but entertaining to say the least. It's on Wednesday's at 9p on the Travel Channel. You should check it out.

ANYWAY.

This is what my life has become with this Moby Wrap. A next to impossible challenge. I feel like I am studying to become a brain surgeon or training for a triathlon. Except, that would actually be EASY compared to this. I feel like a total moron and completely defeated by this ginormous piece of cotton stretch origami. I swear, this thing requires 10 people just to get it on. Not to mention the additional 10 to cram the baby inside.

It's funny because I see so many of my friends and people I don't even know who love theirs and think it's so easy to use. Am I just that stupid or something? I'm getting the feeling that I must be. I mean, how hard can this actually be?

Now before I continue on my rant, I'd like to point out that I am actually very thankful for this gift from my friend Bethany (who by the way is adorable when she's wearing it). She's obviously WAY smarter than I am, and is the master at baby wearing. She's also one of the greatest mother's I've ever seen. So yea. I, on the other hand, completely fail.

So, if you have never used or seen the Moby (other than in the beautiful and obviously fake photographs), you are in for a treat. It comes packaged up in this tiny little sack rolled up perfectly with a photo of the happiest mom and baby you've ever encountered in your life. "Award Winning Wrap--Parent's Choice," etc, etc... Sounds fantastic.

Honestly, I opened up the tiny package thinking that this thing was already going to be put together for me. I mean, on the package it looks like a big stretchy t-shirt that the baby just slides right into. Easy enough. I can just toss her inside in a jiff, and happily go about my business. Perfect!

WRONG! Let's just say looks are deceiving.

You open up the package and out comes this 10-12 ft long GIGANTIC piece of fabric. I felt like a damn magician pulling the never ending multi-colored scarf out of my sleeve. I mean seriously. I could have used this  contraption as an aisle runner at my wedding. I think my first thought was, really? What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing? Even my dog looks confused. See:

And here:

All she needs is a veil.

Luckily for me, there is a fabulously thick book of beautifully photographed step by step [supposedly idiot proof] instructions. Well it seems simple enough just looking at the pictures. Here's proof.

Well HA frickin HA!


Here's the biggest laugh of them all. Simple as 1, 2, 3 my ass!

I am telling you that even step one makes absolutely ZERO sense. Actually, no I take that back. The words make sense, but the photos? Not so much. Tell me, whose belly buttons are located practically in their chest? I know that pregnancy does some strange things to your navel area, but it certainly didn't do THAT to mine. The reason I say this is because they tell you to align the Moby tag with your navel, but the picture shows the women with the tag directly beneath their chest. Am I missing something here?

No joke, the first time I attempted this project, my husband and I took a good 10 minutes just to get this beast on me the "correct" way. OH! And did I mention that the pictures in the manual show the wrap perfectly creased, folded, etc? Then you look at mine. I look like I've been attacked by the fabric. After 10 tries by myself, I finally got the wrap to look almost as good as the photo. THEN I tried to put the baby inside. ha! At first, I thought that it was because Noelle was too small. But now that she's over 10 lbs, I know that it must be me. No matter what I do, I just can't do it right. She's hanging halfway out, or I am literally ramming body parts into tiny crevices...hThen she cries [ehem... WAILS] because her mom is such an idiot, and the 20+ minutes that I've spent trying to get this damn thing to work for us have been wasted. Ugh. I know I can't be that stupid. I guess I have to be smarter than the wrap. Perhaps we'll try this exhilarating event again one day while she's sleeping and can be stuffed into the material with a little less effort.

Until then...In this case of Mommy vs Moby-- Moby wins.

Reviews of Go the Eff to Sleep

So one of my best girlfriend's picked up this adult children's book for me called:

Perhaps some of you have heard of this book? Maybe even have read or own this book? Well, if you are a total prude or dislike cursing, you probably won't find any humor in this book whatsoever. Otherwise, it is pretty humorous. The funniest book ever read? No. But it does the job. So unless you have perfect children (I mean REALLY perfect), it's worth a read for a good laugh. 


So, for the hell of it, I decided to go on Amazon to read some of the reviews for this book. I am a review reading freak in general, so even though I didn't need the reviews to help me make a decision about purchasing this book, it was interesting to see what others were saying. Knowing the content of this book made it that much more enjoyable. To really spice things up, I went straight to the 1 star reviews. I just knew I would find some controversial and/or ridiculous reviews on there, and boy was I right. I seriously laughed so hard at the insanity of these reviews that I just had to steal them to share with you all tonight. Even if you've never read the book, you will get the gist of it based on the reviews. Once you are done reading these, I want to know what you think. Are these people for real, or did they write these to make fun of the people who really read this to their children? 


**I was literally crying from laughter when I read this...

1.0 out of 5 stars It made my four year old cry!!!, June 15, 2011

By 

A Reader From NYC (New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Go the F**k to Sleep (Hardcover)

This is the worst goodnight book I've ever read. It made my four year old cry every single night I read it to him. And then just the other night when it was time to put his baby brother down, he said, "Why won't he go the f*** to sleep?" What sort of lesson is that?

I don't normally give one star reviews. I would have given this a two star review if the authors had used a better word like "fudge" or "flock", as in "Go the Flock to Sleep", but now, thanks to this horrible book, my four year old is using the f-word every day and my baby son just said "flluch", so his first word was the f-word. Am I supposed to tell him this when he gets older? "Son, your first word was the f-word"? What's he going to grow up to be now? A tattoo parlor artist? A Democrat? This book is a disgrace.

**I think this one below is the SAME reviewer. Hilarious. 

1.0 out of 5 stars KEEP AWAY FROM YOUR CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS!, October 5, 2011

By 

Bradley (New York, NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Go the F**k to Sleep (Hardcover)

I stumbled across this book on Amazon and thought it looked cute, so I bought it to read for my four-year-old at bedtime. I was looking forward to receiving it, but when I opened up the package, I was horrified to see a sleeping child surrounded by tigers. Children should not sleep in the presence of tigers. Tigers are dangerous! Had I noticed the tigers on the cover from the start, I never would have purchased the book. I thought they were just really big cats from some magical land like Oz or The Magical Land of the Really Big Cats.

I should have thrown the book straight in the trash after seeing the cover, but I'm not exactly made of money so I taped a page from a newspaper to hide the cover from Max and read it to him later that night. I started reading it and it was really great, but then I got to the last sentence on the first page and was horrified! I've never read such filthy language in a children's book. I wanted to stop reading. I NEEDED to stop reading. But Max is the pushiest four year old I've ever met so he wouldn't let me stop reading.

I read more and more of the book and felt intense nausea, but I had to continued because Max would have would have squirmed away and told me that he hated me if I stopped reading before the end. The publisher of this book should be ashamed of themselves for publishing such filth. Not a page went by without one usage of the f-word. And there was even one page with the word for excrement!

Page after page. A few of them even had children playing with tigers like on the cover! I'm mortified that Max will leave the house and spend the night sleeping in the zoo surrounded by deadly predators rather than sleep in his room surrounded by his 27 teddy bears. And then there's that page with the child falling through the air attached to a parachute. Oh my Lord! I don't know what's more dangerous: a child spending time with tigers or jumping out of a plane to go skydiving.

This horrible book is only 18 pages, but it felt like an eternity while I was reading it. I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack before I finished reading its last obscene sentence.

And then I saw the final page with the biographical data of the evil evil men who wrote and illustrated the book. I didn't read it aloud to Max because it always angers him whenever I accidentally read a page like this. But I was shocked...absolutely shocked to learn that not only did the author have a filthy mouth and advocate putting small children in dangerous situations, but he is also an anti-Semite. Even worse than an anti-Semite. He is a proponent for the extinction of all Jews. I will never, ever read his book, The End of the Jews, especially to Max. At that moment, I felt like I had just read a children's book written by Adolf Hitler.

Shame on you, Amazon! Shame on you for your false advertising. You are to blame for not listing the book's actual title. How was I supposed to know what the book was actually called when you censored the title's filthy word? I never thought anyone would use THAT word in a children's book title. I thought it was a Sumerian word or something. I thought the book would be educational. Teach Max a few words from an ancient language before he went to sleep. But no--instead he's been talking like a hummus and salsa factory worker ever since I made possibly the biggest mistake of my life.

OMG LMAO!

So... thoughts? If nothing else, I hope you had a good laugh. Oh, and read the book if you haven't. It will make the previous reviews that much funnier.

Playtime & Hiccups with Ellebelle

So I decided to take a time out from my usual hormonal craziness (not to worry, I'll be back) to bring to you some fun with my beautiful growing girl. After our eventful day [weekend] of screaming, upset tummies, screaming, vomiting, screaming, and doctors, (did I mention screaming?) we were able to enjoy some happy time tonight. And after all of the fussbutting going on around here, I felt it was absolutely necessary to catch this joyful and alert event in action!

It's been really exciting these past 2 weeks or so watching Noelle become more alert and aware of her surroundings. She seems to be noticing new sounds and is slowly becoming more interested in some of her noisier toys. So last week I decided to break out her new stroller/car-seat arch of toys and latch it to her changing table (which, btw is her FAVORITE place in the house-probably because she knows she'll be getting a new diaper to destroy seconds after it's taped shut). She's been LOVING it! She also is in love with her soft bunny blankie that one of my former students picked out for her. Between these toys and her Baby Einstein Take Along Tunes, she is good to go for entertainment. I'll be posting some videos with her music later, but for now here is an adorable (and dark-sorry, forgot to turn the light on a little brighter. Bad mommy.) video of my alert little princess girl. Please try to ignore the extremely annoying baby voice and sounds that I produce. Embarrassing. :^)

And, just because I know how much everyone loves baby hiccups, here's a sneak peak into what we get to hear at least 10 times a day. Oh, and I finally decided to turn on the light, so you can really see her baby eczema- poor girl. ENJOY!

Hope we've helped make your night (or day). G'night all!

Wifezilla aka The Baby Blues

Ever see the show Bridezillas? You know, where those unbelievably obnoxious women act like psychopaths and treat everyone around them as if they were the biggest pieces of scum garbage to ever walk this Earth? The types of women who make you want to jump through your television and slap the ever loving shit out of them for acting so ridiculous. They are getting married for crying out loud. Isn't this supposed to be one of the absolute HAPPIEST days of their lives? Judging from their actions, you'd never know, right? Fabricated for television or not, these women make you (or at least me) sick.

By this point you are wondering, why the hell is she going on and on about that dumb tv show. Who cares? Well, let me explain.

Those women who I so horrendously described... yea. Lately, they are me. Times a thousand. Just ask my poor husband (or really anyone) who has been forced to put up with me and all of my crap for the past 5 or so weeks. Please allow me to introduce you to...DUN DUN DUN...Wifezilla.

By definition: 

Wifezilla- adjective

Term used to describe an over tired, over stressed, over reactive, over IT, woman who takes out every single ounce of her daily thoughts, issues, emotions, etc, on that poor soul labeled as her husband. 

Alright. Who are we kidding here?

What Wifezilla really refers to is a raging hormonal bitch who has sudden urges to lash out, spew verbal diarrhea, and/or throw random crap {at her husband} because......well, who the hell really even knows why? Does she even know? (we'll answer this later)

Now do we see the resemblance between wifezilla and bridezilla? One major difference. Wifezilla is not fabricated. She really exists. And in this household. INSERT- wife hanging head in mortified shame.

You see. I've always had a tinge of this, we'll call syndrome. I can be pissy, whiny, grumpy, annoyed, and down right ugly if the mood strikes. Admit it ladies. At one point or another, you have all taken on some shape or form of the Wifezilla syndrome. Maybe not to the extreme of what's been described, but we've all somewhat been there, right? [Please don't tell me if your answer is no. I'm already embarrassed enough.] Anyway, for me, it's always been there. But NOTHING like this.

Prepare to take out your tiny violins and let the sob story begin...

Let's rewind back to early September. I was 40 weeks pregnant and pretty over it. Tired. Anxious. Excited. Full of wonder. And the list goes on. I was getting very stressed out because Noelle didn't look like she was going to make her grand entrance naturally as I had anticipated, and all of my dreams of an ideal (and completely unrealistic) labor and delivery were looking pretty dim. I was an absolute loon with all of ridiculous things I was doing to try to manually induce labor. From eating chocolate cake and spicy foods to bouncing on a ball for hours and taking daily 4 mile walks. You name it, I tried it all. Yet, in the midst of all this craziness, I had a lot of support and understanding from my husband Nick. He would give me nightly back and neck massages, get me whatever I needed (since it was not easy for me to get up, waddle, sit...err...collapse), and really tried to keep me thinking positively that I would have the experience that I was longing for. He was amazing.

Then it happened. The moment we were waiting for. The birth of our gorgeous baby girl.

Well, I won't get into all of the details from my-not so wonderful-labor, delivery, and hospital experience. That is for another post (or 12. Seriously, it will probably take that many to describe how horrid it was). Let's just say my awful experience did not meet any of my expectations (which I obviously should have never set in the first place) and I was absolutely miserable. I mean- m.i.s.e.r.a.b.l.e.

I went 4 days in the hospital operating on one actual meal of food (bowls of ice chips do not count), sleeping a total of MAYBE 6-8 hours, being in the most gut wrenching pain of my life (from the c-section), sobbing uncontrollably, and having to rely on Nick for pretty much everything-including taking full care of our newborn baby. If you know me at all, you know that I do not operate that way. I despise having to rely on other people (my husband included) to cart me around and do everything for me. I need to be in control of myself and my environment. That way, when my astronomically high expectations aren't met, the only person that I can be mad at is myself. Well, now my independence and ability to care for my baby had been taken away. So that, mixed with everything mentioned above, left me feeling beyond guilty, frustrated, and angry. Yea... not the best combination. And definitely not the ideal situation for my overly tired husband. 

So once Noelle was in the room with us, and I wasn't able to perform any of my motherly duties the way I had hoped (having to stop breastfeeding, not being able to get out of bed to change her diaper or hold her), I was really not the nicest or easiest person to deal with. After all of that, I would say I had a pretty good excuse. Let's just say that nothing he did was right. He wasn't doing anything with the baby the "right" way (or the way that I would have been doing it). He wasn't moving fast enough for me. He wasn't staying awake with me. He didn't know the pain that I was in. He didn't see how upset I was about feeling like an inadequate mother. He just didn't understand. Or maybe he did. Maybe everything that he was doing was perfectly okay. I just didn't see it that way. AT. ALL.

You would think that after being able to come home with our new beautiful baby girl and having the help of my parents that I would get some sleep, eat some food, and snap the hell out of this funk. You know, go back to normal. Well I did, for about a day. Then Noelle ended up back in the hospital with extreme dehydration which I was completely (still kinda am) blaming myself for. Now I had another night of sobbing, no sleep, no eating, still in agonizing pain, and now all of those feelings that I mentioned before were tripled. Anything Nick tried to do to help, etc, was taken as an insult and frustrated the living crap out of me. My thoughts at the time... I am a crappy mother and he is a crappy everything. Ugh. Seriously, can't the man do a damn thing right? 

I had reached my absolute breaking point, and we were in desperate need of a do over button. 

No matter how crazy it sounds, I know that it was completely normal to feel the way that I did. I have done enough Google searches, read enough articles, blogs, and baby books to know that it is common to suffer from what is known as the "baby blues." Taking out everything on the husband, feeling inadequate as a mother, etc. All typical symptoms lasting for a few days to a week. So why the hell do I still feel this way?

I am still frustrated. Still tired. Still angry. But, more importantly, still taking everything (and I do mean ev-er-y-thing) out on Nick. He still can't do anything right. Still not moving fast enough for me. Still not staying awake with me. Still offering (or questioning) to help and frustrating the hell out of me. And really, for no reason whatsoever. I mean, I have my independence back. I am able to breastfeed successfully with my child just like I wanted. Noelle is a pretty good baby and is healthy. We aren't going into the poorhouse because we had a baby (which was among some of my other crazy thoughts). So what the hell is my problem? I'm pretty sure that sleep deprivation combined with an inability to exercise or do much else is playing a huge role here... but come on.  

Baby blues to the extreme? More than likely. I am just tired of feeling like an out of control psychopath who treats her husband like a giant turd 90% of the time. An utterly atrocious wifezilla. And lord knows he is tired of me and my "episodes." Thank goodness he is pretty patient and completely tolerant of this insane behavior, or we would be in serious trouble. 

Hey, I'm not looking for psychological therapy here, so please don't offer any. Do I really need it? Don't answer that. Really, all I want to know is that I am not alone here. That there are some other post partum wifezillas out there and that this syndrome will eventually and hopefully go away (on it's own) soon. I just want to feel like myself and cuddle with {not hate on} my poor hubby who I really do love (despite what you've just read) again. 

Thanks for lending an ear {more like an eye} and not jumping through your computer to slap the everloving shit out of me. Although that's probably just what I need.   

What? It's 3 AM? Otherwise Known as Reasons Why I am Bat $h*t Crazy

OKAY. I love me some relaxing jazz music from time to time, but if I have to hear this god forsaken Kenny G-esque rendition of  "Go to Sleep" one more friggin time, I'm going to go off the reservation- Nuts. Mental. Flat out INSANE.

Don't get me wrong. I love my child to pieces. We all do, right? But I always know it's going to be trouble if, after our early morning feeding, I see those blue-green-hazel-gray (we're still not sure) eyeballs wide open. That dream SwaddleMe wrap is no longer the miracle it once was. I know what you are thinking. Just wrap up the kid, lay her down, and let her fuss herself back to sleep.  HA! Okay, you come on over and try that out with my child.  Let me know how that works out for you. In the mean time, I'll be in my bed catching up on some sleep. You know where to find me.

To fully understand this almost nightly experience, let me explain the routine. Yes, we do actually try to have a bedtime routine. I know I live in Vegas, but I'm not THAT mom you see pushing her newborn around in a stroller down disgusting, smoke/alcohol infested Las Vegas Blvd at one o'clock in the morning. You must have me confused with someone else. We actually try to get our child to sleep without the use of extra air enhancements, if you will.

*Sorry- Absolutely. Can. Not. Stand. When. I. See. This. Crap. Period.*

I mean, really people? REALLY?!! We can add this to the list of things that make me bat shit crazy. Rant over.

Did I mention I was a little ADHD? Moving on...

So, for all of you moms out there... do you remember that time in your life before you actually HAD a child (I know it's difficult. Sleep deprivation has fried out my long term memory too.) when you stated all of the things you would absolutely never do? Or how about all of the things you would most definitely have your child doing within 1 hour of birth because you were going to be THAT good at parenting. Or as my bestie Kenny would refer to it as "a baby whisperer." Well, that was me. I had it all planned out. Among all of the, we'll say, unrealistic things I had said or thought (most of which have already gone right out the window- sanity included), bedtime routines and sleep were at the top of my list.

Here was/is the plan:
1. Give the baby a bath around 9ish. (Why I thought you did this every day is beyond me)

2. Put the baby into adorable pj's and a fresh diaper by 9:15 or so- and yes, I had times planned out. I do this with everything. Type A, remember?

3. Feed the baby one last time around 9:30--ha! Like I can tell her when she's going to be hungry.

4. Have the baby burped (minus the milk river- we'll get to that fun story at another time) and happily in her sleeper no later than 10:15.

5. Get up around 3am for a mid-night feeding (WOW- the one part I actually managed to get right! Yay me!)

6. Burp, change diaper, and have peacefully back asleep by 3:30 or so.

7. Do not wake up again until 7-7:30.

It's okay. You are allowed to laugh. I won't be offended.

Well, for the most part, we have been able to *somewhat* stick to that schedule, give or take a half hour. All up until that 3am feeding. Oh we do the feeding, change the diaper, and burp/hurl. We just don't go back to bed. Well we do. Just not for another 2+ hours or so. BUT we are still up around 6:30-7 to start all over again.

So why 2+ hours? What could we possibly be doing for that long? Well, the only thing that she is content doing. BOUNCING. No, not bouncing in her bouncy chair while mommy gets to sleep. I'm talking about bouncing on the big blue exercise/birthing ball. The greatest/worst back workout/pain in your life. Not if you do it and your baby is asleep within 5 minutes. It's after you've done it for TWO HOURS and she's still not asleep. Content, yes. Asleep, no. Heaven forbid I ever leave this ball to give my back a rest. That's when the flood gates of death defying screams occur. I think I'll just stick with the damn ball.

So if the ball works, but doesn't get her back to sleep, how do we finally get back to bed? Remember 30 paragraphs ago at the beginning of this post when I mentioned that Kenny G-esque version of "Go to Sleep?" THAT is how we get back to bed. Well if it's that easy, why does it take 2 hours? Because it requires almost TWO mind blasting hours of that flippin song playing combined with bouncing to get this child back to sleep. Here's the song, for those of you who want to participate in the insane club.

In fact, we are participating in this fun filled nightly event as we speak. We have just about reached the 2 hour mark, and Ellie's eyes are finally closed. Now it's time to shove pillows over my head to block out Nick's 3 alarm air raid that's about to occur in 3, 2, 1...... &$#(@(#U*$#@*#!!!

And this is just one of the reasons why I am bat shit crazy.

So... I am begging. PLEASE. If any of you baby whisperers have any advice for this sleep deprived loon on how to get my over stimulated child back to sleep more quickly, I am dying {literally} to know. Now if you'll all excuse me, I have some pillows to go hide under for the next 30 minutes until my day starts all over again.

PS- Here's a picture of Noelle when she is actually sleeping. Perhaps I should share this with her on frequent occasions to remind her that this is what we do at night. Sleep! Good night/morning all!

Welcome & Oh Yea-Noelle Turns 1 Month!

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd we're off! Finally, I've gotten up the energy and motivation to get this blog going!! It's been a long time coming, but I've finally done it. There is so much to say to help you all get to know me and my type A, neurotic, perfectionist, borderline insane, yet fun-loving & hilarious-or so I think-self (be. afraid.) along with my amazing and crazy family. I promise to back up and start from the beginning at some point, but since it's our daughter Noelle Elizabeth's 1 month birthday, I HAD to sit down and get out a mooshy-gooshy post to help her understand how much we've enjoyed being her parents for the first 30 days of her life. We'll get back to how we got her here later...... okay, so maybe not exactly how we got her here, but all of the other details- like one of the most insane labor experiences. ever. PERIOD. Until then, go on and enjoy my sappy love story for my daughter. Go ahead. You'll fall in love too. :^)

On Sunday, October 23rd, you officially turned 1 month old Noelle! This first month with you has been an amazing whirlwind and we are so fortunate to have you in our lives. Each new day with you has been an indescribable adventure. Mommy will be honest, it has not been all rainbows and cotton candy... Not that it hasn't been wonderful, but we have had our share of ups and downs. Hey, we're newbies! What do you expect? Perfection right away and ALL the time? 

**Here's where your daddy replies with some conceited, ridiculous comments about being perfect and some other mumbo jumbo that mommy tunes out and ignores. First bit of advice, you should probably ignore it too. Daddy is NEVER serious about anything, and we don't want your first sentence to be "Look at me, I'm perfect," though I'm sure your daddy would love that. Anyone who knows your daddy and is currently reading this completely agrees with mommy. Remember that. Mommy knows best. ;^)** 

Oh Ellebelle, there is so much to share with you about our exciting time together during these first 30 days, that it would take at least 20 posts to get it all down! Mommy promises to tell you all of the details from your first night home, your scary emergency room visit, mommy and daddy's (well MOMMY'S) countless sleepless nights, daddy's amazing back workout- the famous bounce to sleep technique, and so much more at another time. For now, mommy will share just a few details about YOU. Thank you to mommy's friend Bethany for the great idea for how to save and share this information with our princess.  

*Disclaimer: Okay, so this is an insanely long post. I know I said I wouldn't say every detail. I lied. Enjoy.

Here is what you looked like on your 1 month birthday:

Ellebelle, mommy was so excited for your one month birthday to arrive. Before you were born, mommy spent countless hours searching for the perfect stickers for you to wear on all of your special monthly birthdays. Mommy was so thrilled when she finally came across the sticker you are wearing  in the next photo. You have 11 more just like it! Mommy also spent some time creating another enormous flower clip for you to wear (or pull down over your eyes) on this special day in your life. Mommy hopes you love them as much as she does.

You looked beyond adorable (like you always do), so mommy decided to play photographer and take MANY photos of you with all of your accessories during your peaceful nap. Here are a few more of the photos mommy took of you that day.

During this first month of your life, you have earned many nicknames. In fact, we find ourselves calling you by these names more than your actual name! Here are the names mommy and daddy like to call you:

Mommy: Pookie, Pook, Belle, & Princess Girl

Daddy: Elles-Belles (derived from ACDC's Hell's Bells- and he even sings the chorus to you using your nickname instead. Mommy's not a fan of the song choice, but you certainly like it when he sings...ERR...screeches/howls it to you), & Sweetie-Pie

M & D: Elle, Ellebelle, Ellie, & Fuss-butt (when you are on the whiny side)

We love using different voices to say your various names because we love seeing the new and different facial expressions that you make with each sound.

You will have your first well check at Dr. Carrie's office tomorrow, September 24th. Mommy's not sure, but we're guessing you will probably weigh about 9lbs and are 21.5 inches long. We'll soon see if mommy and daddy are right! You have grown so much in such a short period of time. You have recently graduated from newborn diapers and have been wearing size ones for a little over a week. They were a little long on you at first, but with the way you've been growing, it almost seems like you could be in a size 2 by next week! You are currently wearing 0-3 month clothes. The onesies are still a tiny bit too long for you, but they definitely fit in the waist! We haven't been able to put you into your 3 month pj's yet because they are way too long, but you will probably be fitting into them in the next week or two.

Mommy has been breastfeeding you and has not used any bottles, so it's hard to say how much you are eating during each feeding, but I'm guessing it's between 2-3 ounces. However, you are an eating machine! You have become much better at latching over the past few weeks, and do your best feedings during the middle of the night and throughout the morning. We do not have a timed out feeding schedule, but you are eating every 2-3 hours and eat anywhere from 9-13 times a day! You tend to eat the most during the evening hours. Sometimes you eat once an hour for 4-5 hours straight! It can be very tiring for mommy, but we get through it. Mommy thinks you eat so much at night to stock up for a longer night's sleep (and she REALLY appreciates it too). You are getting better at burping after your meals, but still cover mommy in a milk river every now and then. You also get the hiccups quite a bit. Sometimes 4-5 times a day! They sound painful, but you smile your way right through them. You are our tough little girl!

Throughout this month, you have not had much of a sleeping schedule. Sometimes you sleep most of the day and are up for 3 hours straight in the middle of the night, and other times you are wide awake all day and tend to fight your naps. But those are the days that you sleep for most of the night. We've recently started using the SwaddleMe wraps for your overnight sleep, and they have worked wonders! You have been sleeping 5 to 5 1/2 hours straight, fussing for a middle of the night snack, then returning to sleep for 2-3 additional hours. This has made mommy VERY happy. Please keep it up! :^) You are still sleeping in your Rock & Play sleeper right next to mommy's side of the bed. This makes overnight feedings/diaper changes much easier for mommy, plus it's comforting having you so close-by throughout the night.

Since we've gotten you home, you've enjoyed hanging out in your bouncy seat and your swing. But mostly, you love being held by your mommy and daddy. We've walked, glided, swayed, and danced with you, but your favorite type of movement has been bouncing on the exercise ball with your daddy (or pretty much anyone who will do it with you). You also enjoy car rides and rides in the stroller. You are definitely a mover. Whether someone is moving with you or you are alone, you are constantly moving. Mommy thinks it's from all of the long walks and spin classes she took while you were in her tummy.

You are also a lover of music. Whenever we are in the nursery having play time, changing your diaper, gliding in the chair, or feeding you, we are playing music. Some of the music you have enjoyed and stayed the most calm to have been The Beatles, Coldplay, The Fray, Elton John, Billy Joel, and pretty much any song with a piano playing. You also like to listen to jazzy style lullabies at night, especially around 3am (when mommy is losing her mind with tiredness and isn't sure what else to do- it works!)

You had your first bath on Saturday, October 8th. You didn't put up a fight at all. Mommy washed your body while daddy washed your hair. You were so content with the whole experience and have enjoyed bath time ever since. It's one of mommy and daddy's favorite things to do with you together. We are looking forward to the days when we are splashing and playing with toys in the tub too.

Something that has been astonishing to mommy and daddy (and everyone who has met you), is your CRAZY strength! Five minutes after you were born, grandpa and daddy witnessed you whip your head from one side to the other. INCREDIBLE! At 3 days old, daddy, mommy, grandma, and grandpa all witnessed you, while laying on your back, lift your legs in the air, and whip your body from one side to the other. ASTONISHING! During the scary visit to the ER, all of the doctor's marveled at how strong and "feisty" you were because you were trying to lift and move your head without any help (and that was after being completely dehydrated and stuck 10-12 times with needles). You have always done that. It makes it extremely difficult to burp you because you push off and don't want your head to be held at all. You are so independent! You have been gripping mommy and daddy's fingers from day one, and that grip has gotten stronger and stronger each day. During tummy time, you are already scooting your body across the mat and trying very hard to push your body and head off of the ground. UNBELIEVABLE! Ellie, you are so amazingly strong! We think you could be a gymnast, a dancer, or even a karate star! You can do anything!

We first noticed (actually, daddy was first to see) your giant dimple during your first day at the hospital. You made a strange face and we saw it sink into your cheek. It was the most adorable thing we've ever seen, and we were both thrilled that you had a feature that we BOTH share. We couldn't wait until you smiled really big so we could see it in action. You've always done small grins, especially in your sleep. But you let out your first GIANT open mouthed smile on Friday, October 21st- exactly 4 weeks from the day you were born. We think you really liked your holiday outfit that day. You've been smiling big ever since. 

For the past couple of weeks, you have been making the silliest faces. You have tried to mock the faces that both mommy and daddy make. You even managed to pull off your first "Blue Steel" look from Zoolander. You made mommy and daddy so proud that day! Mommy and daddy also love all of the little sounds that you make. Your pig grunt is mommy's favorite. It makes her laugh every time. It's definitely the cutest noise you make (next to that pig snort you do when your hungry- now that's really funny!) This may sound cruel, but sometimes mommy will intentionally wait an extra minute or two to feed you, just so she can hear those grunts and snorts a little bit longer. You are beyond cute Ellebelle!

You first started noticing lights about a week ago. Mommy put you in the bouncy chair and you were pretty zombied out. Then I flipped the switch on the light, and you sat up and stared at it right away! You even made a face as if to say Ooooooooooooowwwwwww-Aaaaaahhhhhhhh. You did the same thing in your swing. Daddy turned on the light show, and you looked up right away and made that same surprised face. It is so much fun watching you become more observant, focused, and attentive to different things.

During your first month of life, you have met many family members and friends in person, via Skype, and via Facebook (a place to share all of your photos). Mommy and daddy have let lots of people hold and play with you, and you have thoroughly enjoyed all of the extra attention. You must get that from your mommy. :^) Everyone has marveled at your beauty and has fallen in love with you just like mommy and daddy. You are the most beautiful baby girl we could have ever imagined and are beyond blessed to be able to hold, squeeze, kiss, and love you every day.

Ellebelle- Though mommy and daddy are new to this parenting thing, we hope that we are impacting your life in the way that you have ours. Thank you for being so patient with us while we still try to learn new tricks and understand when you need something and what exactly you need. We may not be perfect (regardless of what your daddy thinks), but we will do anything to make your life the best that it can possibly be. We are so thankful that you have come into our lives and are looking forward to the months and years ahead, watching you grow, become stronger, and even more beautiful with time. Happy 1 month Ellebelle! We love you to the moon!!